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"It
is better to remain quiet and be thought a fool than to speak and
remove all doubt." (Anonymous)
Martin was next up to be promoted to supervisor of his group, however,
the signals he was getting from his co-workers let him know that
they were not ready to work for him. He walked away from every meeting
with a sinking feeling - he just didn't know what was going wrong
.
Here are some guidelines we worked out:
- Don't come reeking of smoke and don't walk out of meetings to
light one up. No one wants to sit next to a human ashtray.
- Use the meetings to get to know your co-workers. Ask about personal
interests; remember the answers and use them to connect again
at the next meeting. This is a social protocol in the US and it's
also a way to establish real ties.
- Let speakers in the meeting speak freely about their new ideas
--don't jump on them or imply that the message is stupid.
- Americans value time, so stick to the issues on the agenda.Avoid
personal confrontations. However, if an argument is unavoidable,
use "I "messages . Not "you made a mistake"
, but, "how did I go wrong?"
- Group consensus building in the US is highly valued. The process
here is often slow and can take a long time - at least for Europeans.
Patience is a must.
- Don't interrupt - this is really looked down on.
- Don't tell foreign jokes, they don't work in translation.
- There is a definite language used in corporate meetings. People
are concerned about getting a buy-in from employees. Use sentences
such as:
Let me be sure that I understood what you just said…
If I heard you correctly…
It seems to me….I think…..
- Don't win an argument. On that topic Lord Chesterfield said
to his son, "Be wiser than other people if you can, but do
not tell them so."
Even if you think yours is the right way, beware or, as the Boston
Transcript put it many years ago:
Here lies the body of William Jay
Who died maintaining his right of way-
He was right, dead right, as he sped along,
But he's just as dead as if he were wrong.
Angelika Blendstrup, PhD, is a business communications consultant
(www.professional-business-communications.com)
who helps foreign-born executives with problems understanding the
complexities of American business culture and the English language
to communicate effectively. Learn more about
Angelika...
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